Hire all Kenyans as sitcom actors, so Limbaugh viewers will see that they're not Arabs

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've hired the entire population of Kenya as sitcom actors, so that Rush Limbaugh viewers would be able to see that they are not Arabs.

On the September 22 broadcast of his show, right-wing radio host Rush Limbaugh said of Barack Obama,

He's Arab. You know, he's from Africa. He's from Arab parts of Africa. ... [H]e's not African-American. The last thing that he is is African-American.

There are 38 million people in Kenya, the country from which Barack Obama's father (who is not Arab, but Luo) originated.  Less than 1% of Kenyans are Arabs, while 13% are Luo.  The average pay for an actor in the US is $62,000.  Hiring the entire population of Kenya as sitcom actors so that Americans could see them on TV and realize that they are not Arabs would cost $2.36 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Build a US-Mexico border fence out of marshmallows, reaching the stratosphere

For the price of the Iraq War, we could build a fence across the US-Mexico border out of large marshmallows, tall enough to reach the stratosphere.  

Many immigration opponents support building a fence across the US-Mexico border.  The border is 1969 miles, or 125 million inches long.  The stratosphere begins 6 miles, or 380,000 inches, above the earth.  Assuming that each marshmallow is one inch long and one inch in diameter, building a border fence that went up to the stratosphere would require 47.5 trillion marshmallows.  

A 16 oz bag of Marshmallows costs $2.55 and contains about 64 marshmallows.  Buying enough marshmallows for a US-Mexico border fence would cost $1.9 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Image used under a Creative Commons License from flattop341.

Buy every US adult a bottle of good tequila a week for ten years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought every US adult a bottle of good tequila a week for ten years.

There are 225 million adults in the United States. Buying each of these adults a bottle of tequila a year for 10 years would add up to 117 billion bottles. 1800 Reposado, a 100% agave tequila, costs $24 per bottle at winedelight.com. At this price, we could've bought each American a weekly bottle of tequila for ten years for $2.81 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Image used under a Creative Commons License from evilibby.

Buy the cranberry harvests of the next ten thousand years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought all the cranberries produced for the next ten thousand years.  

The UN estimates that global cranberry production in 2005 came to 372,000 metric tons, worth a total value of $165 million at 2001 prices.  Adjusting for inflation, this is $204 million at 2008 prices.  Assuming a constant rate of production, buying all the cranberries in the world for the next ten thousand years would cost $2.04 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Buy each US astronomer their own Space Shuttle

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought each professional astronomer their own Space Shuttle.  

The Bureau of Labor Statistics calculates the total number of professional astronomers in the United States at 1520.  According to NASA, the Space Shuttle Endeavour cost $1.7 billion to build. Giving each astronomer their own Space Shuttle would cost $2.58 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Image released to the public by Lori Losey/NASA.

Pay off half of the national debt, at the level it was when Bush entered office

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've paid off half of the national debt, at the level it was when Bush came into office.  

At the end of the Clinton Administration, the national debt was at $5.7 trillion.  The debt had actually declined by $360 billion over the last three years of the Clinton Administration, because of budget surpluses.  (At this point, the national debt is $9.65 trillion.)  Paying off half the national debt at the level it was at the end of the Clinton Administration would cost $2.85 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Buy cars for all US women, so they can drive to Canada if McCain or Palin ban abortion

For the price of the Iraq War, we could buy a new car for every woman whom John McCain and Sarah Palin want to deny the right to an abortion, so that she could drive to Canada if she needed one.

In an ABC News interview, McCain announced his support for a Constitutional amendment banning all abortion except in cases of rape, incest, and when the mother's life is threatened.   This would deny the 152 million women in America the right to have an abortion under most circumstances.  (He also said that such an amendment would be unlikely to pass, and expressed support for overturning Roe v. Wade instead.) Sarah Palin, meanwhile, opposes abortion even in cases of rape and incest.  Since about 40 million US women have already reached menopause, there are 112 million women to whom the right to have an abortion applies or will apply.  

According to AutoPacific, the vehicle with the highest proportion of female buyers is the VW New Beetle, which has a base price of $17,475.  Buying New Beetles for 112 million women would cost $1.96 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Image used under a Creative Commons License from peterpolaroid.  See my new website, The Palin Truth Squad.

Buy every lolrus a dozen of the most valuable buckets

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought each lolrus a dozen of the most valuable buckets in existence.  

The lolrus, actually an southern elephant seal named Minazo who lived a Japanese aquarium, achieved immense internet fame due to a famous captioned image of him having his bucket taken away by an aquarium attendant.  A popular series of captioned photos concerning the putatively unhappy lolrus and his quest to regain his bucket soon followed.  There are about 600,000 southern elephant seals in the world.  

A George 111 mahogany and brass peat bucket was bought by John Magnier for 169,000 Euro and is believed to be the most valuable bucket in the world. Buying 12 such buckets for each southern elephant seal would cost $1.73 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Give everyone in Green Bay the Lehman CEO's 2007 bonus

For the price of the Iraq War, we could give everyone in Green Bay a bonus of the size that Lehman Brothers CEO Richard Fuld earned in 2007.

In 2007, Lehman Brothers Chairman and CEO Richard Fuld earned a bonus of $22 million. Because of bad investments in mortgage-backed securities, Lehman Brothers' stock price has fallen from over $80 in early 2007 to 18 cents per share as it filed for bankruptcy yesterday. Previously, Mr. Fuld had earned $354 million over a 5-year period. There are 100,781 residents of Green Bay, so giving them a bonus equal to what Fuld earned in 2007 would take $2.22 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Make every Darfur refugee a millionaire

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've made every refugee in Darfur a millionaire.

There are 2.5 million refugees in Darfur. Making every man, woman, and child among them a millionaire would cost us $2.5 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Image taken from Letter from Larnaca. 

Keep America deodorized for a thousand years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could have provided all Americans with deodorant for a millennium.

Americans spend $1.8 billion per year on deodorants and antiperspirants. Even allowing for 10% greater expenditures to deodorize any additional Americans, the entire population could be deodorized for a thousand years for $2 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Build Large Hadron Colliders all the way up the West Coast

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've build adjacent Large Hadron Colliders all the way up the West Coast.  

The California coast is 840 miles, the Oregon coast is 296 miles, and the Washington coast is 157 miles, making the West Coast of the United States 1293 miles long.  The Large Hadron Collider has a circumference of 17 miles, and dividing by pi gives a diameter of 5.4 miles.  This means that it would take 240 adjacent Large Hadron Colliders to cover the coastline.  At 6.4 billion Euros or about 9 billion dollars each, 240 Large Hadron Colliders would cost $2.16 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.