Buy a mastectomy for each woman who could lose breast cancer screening coverage under McCain's health plan

For the price of the Iraq War, we could buy a mastectomy for each woman whose insurance company could move to Utah after the passage of McCain's health care plan, allowing the company to drop coverage for breast cancer screening.

John McCain's health care plan allows insurance companies to sell across state lines, obeying the regulations of the state in which they're headquartered while ignoring the regulations of the state in which their patients live. Currently, Utah is the only state that does not require breast cancer screening. By moving there, insurance companies could sell everywhere in the country and not cover breast cancer screening even if their patients' states required it.

There are 153 million women in the United States, excluding those in Utah.   A mastectomy cost $12,987 in 2001 dollars, or $16,066 in 2008 dollars. Buying a mastectomy for each of these women would cost $2.46 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Buy the world's pistachio harvest for a thousand years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought the world's pistachio harvest for a thousand years.

The UN estimates global pistachio production at a total of 500,000 metric tons, worth $1.98 billion in 2001 dollars, or $2.45 billion in 2008 dollars.  At that price, buying the world's pistachio harvest for the next thousand years would cost $2.45 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Buy each Canadian their own minor league hockey team

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought each Canadian their own minor league hockey team.

According to 2008 estimates, the Canadian population is 33,366,000. In 2005, the Santa Fe Roadrunners of the North American Hockey League were sold for $75,000. At these prices, buying each Canadian a minor league hockey team valued at the same price as the Roadrunners would cost $2.5 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Image adapted under a Creative Commons License from Lone Primate.

Buy a large American flag for every molecule in a droplet of oil

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought an American flag for every molecule in a droplet of oil.

At a McCain-Palin rally, Sarah Palin said,

Oil and coal...it’s a fungible commodity and they don’t flag the molecules where it’s going and where it’s not. In the sense of the Congress today they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So that I believe that what Congress is going to do also is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it’s Americans who get stuck holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here...it’s got to flow into the domestic markets first.

While different varieties of petroleum consist of different combinations of compounds, one representative compound is iso-octane, which has chemical formula C8H18 and atomic mass 114. A possible mass for an oil droplet is 7 x 10-15 kg.  Iso-octane has a density of .691.  Dividing by the atomic mass, multiplying by the density, and multiplying by Avogadro's number gives us a total of 25.5 billion molecules in an oil droplet.  A 5' by 8' heavyweight American flag can be bought for $96.89.  So buying a large American flag for every molecule in an oil droplet would cost $2.47 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Buy a California home every 20 seconds since Greenspan promoted alternative mortgages

For the price of the Iraq War, we could buy a California home every 20 seconds since Alan Greenspan gave his speech promoting adjustable rate mortgages.  

It has been 1683 days, or approximately 2.42 million minutes since February 23, 2004, when Alan Greenspan gave a speech titled "Understanding Household Debt Obligations" to the Credit Union National Association.   In the speech, Greenspan promoted adjustable rate mortgages and called for "greater mortgage product alternatives to the traditional fixed-rate mortgage." He claimed that rising debt-to-income ratios were not signs of "increasing household financial stress."

The median price paid for a California home in August was $301,000, down from $465,000 the year before.  (Half this drop is from depreciation -- the other half is from changes in the kinds of homes selling.)  Buying a California house every 20 seconds since Greenspan's speech would cost $2.19 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Buy Sarah Palin all US newspapers ever printed

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought Sarah Palin all copies of all US newspapers ever printed.

When asked by Katie Couric which newspapers she read, Sarah Palin answered, 'all of them'.

COURIC: And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this — to stay informed and to understand the world?

PALIN: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media —

COURIC: But what ones specifically? I’m curious.

PALIN: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.

COURIC: Can you name any of them?

PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news.

Newspaper industry circulation revenue totaled about $11 billion in 2004.  Using this figure as the value of each year's newspaper circulation since the founding of the country -- probably a high estimate, as the nation and its newspaper industry were smaller in early years -- the total value of all US newspapers is $2.55 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Scatter 40 mattresses outside the window of each stockholding American to cushion their fall

For the price of the Iraq War, we could scatter 40 king-sized Serta mattresses outside the window of each American who owns stocks, so their fall would be cushioned if horror over huge losses caused them to jump out. 

63% of American adults own stocks, whether directly or through some investment vehicle like a mutual fund or retirement plan.  This comes to about 142 million Americans.  A king size Serta Senna mattress costs $439 at Sam's Club.  Putting 40 of these mattresses outside each stock-owning American's window would cost $2.49 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Give every American a community college economics degree

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've given every American a two-year community college economics degree, so that they could see why the House Republican plan for fixing the financial crisis was nonsense.  

House Republicans proposed to deal with the financial crisis by cancelling capital gains taxes and providing insurance on mortgage-backed securities.  Economists on Wall Street and at nonpartisan think tanks regard the plan as costly and ineffective, as the firms at the center of the crisis are facing capital losses, not gains, and the volatile nature of the securities makes it impossible to insure them effectively without exposing taxpayers to massive risk.  

There are 301 million Americans.  Two years of tuition at a community college costs $4152.  So giving every American a two-year community college degree would cost $1.25 trillion, which is less than half of Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Buy a chocolate chip cookie every second for all Americans born on the same day as McCain

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought a chocolate chip cookie each second for every American who was born on the same day as John McCain.  

John McCain was born on August 29, 1936 -- according to thingsyoungerthanmccain.com, one year before the chocolate chip cookie was invented.  Extrapolating from the birth rates in 1935 and 1940, 2,413,000 Americans were born in 1936, and 6,610 on McCain's birthday.  John McCain is now 26,329 days old, and buying everyone born on his birthday a chocolate chip cookie per second would require about 15 trillion cookies.  

A 15.25 ounce container of Nabisco Chips Ahoy cookies contains about 26 cookies.  12 such packs cost $43.  At these prices, we could've bought a chocolate chip cookie each second for everyone born on the same day as John McCain for $2.07 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Image used under a Creative Commons License from javYliz.

Hire all the educators in America to teach Sarah Palin for five years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've hired all the educators in the United States to teach Sarah Palin for five years, so she might actually know stuff.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are 8,316,360 educators in America, from preschool teachers to professors to librarians.  These educators earn an average of $46,610 per year.  If we had hired them all to teach Sarah Palin for a five-year period beginning in 2003 instead of invading Iraq, we would've spent $1.94 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Make everybody in Philly a Scottish baron

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've made everybody in Philadelphia a Scottish baron.

In 2002, Sir Iain Noble offered to sell the Barony of MacDonald for one million pounds.  At current rates, one pound is worth $1.86.  Sir Iain, a merchant banker, had unwittingly acquired it as part of a land transaction 30 years before.  The Barony includes title to Knock Castle, which is currently in ruins.  

The population of Philadelphia is estimated at 1.45 million.  Buying every resident of Philadelphia a Scottish barony at Sir Iain's asking price would cost $2.70 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.

Buy each panda an Arleigh Burke class destroyer

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've equipped each panda with an Arleigh Burke class destroyer.

Using the highest estimates, there are 3000 giant pandas in the wild, and 266 in captivity.  55 Arleigh Burke destroyers cost around $43 billion, for a unit cost of $782 million.  Equipping every giant panda with their own Arleigh Burke class destroyer would cost $2.55 trillion, which is less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the cost of the Iraq War.