Buy Everyone A 27" TV To Watch Obama's Inaugural Address

For the price of the Iraq War, we could buy everyone on earth a 27" color TV with which to watch President Obama's inaugural address. 

There are 6.7 billion people on Earth. A Sharp 27" color TV costs $330. Buying each person their own TV would cost $2.21 trillion, or $790 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Give every American the median wage for the next hundred election days

For the price of the Iraq War, we could make it easier for working Americans to take time off and vote by paying them the median hourly wage for the next 100 election days.  

There are 225 million adults in America, 6.1% of whom are unemployed.  The median hourly wage in America is $15.10.  Assuming an 8 hour workday, paying each working American adult the median hourly wage for the next 100 election days would cost $2.55 trillion, $450 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Image used under a Creative Commons license from deritastudio.

Make each swing state vote worth $10,000

For the price of the Iraq War, we could make every vote for the right candidate in a swing state worth $10,000 according to philosopher Derek Parfit's calculations in Reasons and Persons.  

Chapter 3 of Reasons and Persons, "Five Mistakes in Moral Mathematics", contains the section "Ignoring Very Small Chances". In it, Parfit cites academic research suggesting that the likelihood of an individual vote in a swing state deciding a presidential election is 1 in 100 million. Parfit argues that voting is still rational for those who have concern for others, despite the low likelihood of deciding the election. 

If the difference between the policies of the better and worse presidential candidate is $1 trillion when added up across everyone, the 1 in 100 million chance of deciding the election divides out to a value of $10,000 to everyone.  Despite the tiny chance of deciding the election, the tremendous value of a better president makes voting rational for those who care about others.  Making every vote have a value of $1 trillion comes to $2 trillion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Buy everyone in Sean Hannity's audience a Swift Boat

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought everyone in Sean Hannity's audience their own Swift Boat.  

While the Vietnam-era Fast Patrol Craft are no longer being produced, Small Unit Riverine Craft are the contemporary equivalents of Swift Boats.  Like the Swift Boats of the Vietnam War, they are equipped with armored hulls, radar, and three machine gun mounts, and carry small numbers of soldiers along rivers. The Marine Corps paid around $27 million for 40 of these boats, giving them a unit cost of $675,000.  Right-wing TV host Sean Hannity has 3.5 million viewers. Buying each Hannity viewer his own Swift Boat would cost $2.36 trillion, which is $640 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Give every Bengal tiger the wealth of Richard Mellon Scaife

For the price of the Iraq War, we could give every Bengal tiger the wealth of right-wing billionare Richard Mellon Scaife.  

Richard Mellon Scaife is an heir to the Mellon family fortune.  His past activities include donating $990,000 to Nixon before modern campaign finance laws, donating $1.8 million to an effort to unearth damaging information about Bill Clinton, and donating $2 million to a right-wing group called "Accuracy in Media" which produced an October 14 article titled "Was a Communist Obama's Sex Teacher?"  Scaife's wealth totals $1.2 billion.  

Bengal tigers are among the largest subspecies within the tiger family.  Their past activities include eating wild boars, eating water buffalos, and eating rhinoceros.  Giving the estimated 1,411 Bengal tigers each $1.2 billion would cost $1.69 trillion, or $1.31 trillion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Buy every woman born since the Malleus Malleficarum a cauldron and a broom

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought a cauldron and a broom for every woman born since the writing of the Malleus Maleficarum, or "Hammer of the Witches", a 15th century witch-hunting guide.  

Written in 1486, the Malleus Maleficarum argued that witches existed, claimed that women were more likely to commit witchcraft, and advised authorities on how to detect and convict witches. It spread rapidly throughout Europe, leading to the deaths of tens of thousands of people through witch trials.  Even today, some right-wing activists like Catholic League president Bill Donahue profess a belief in witchcraft.  

Extrapolating from calculations by the Population Reference Bureau suggests that 12 billion women have been born since 1486. A 10 quart cast iron cauldron from a witchcraft supply store costs $150, while a broom costs $5.  Buying these items for every woman born since 1486 would cost $1.86 billion, or $1.14 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Give each King of Israel the total value of the Israeli stock market

For the price of the Iraq War, we could give each historical King of Israel the value of everything on the contemporary Israeli stock market.  

There are 24 historical kings of Israel: Saul, Ish-Bosheth, David, Solomon, Rehoboam, Jeroboam I, Nadab, Baasha, Elah, Zimri, Omri, Ahab, Ahaziah, Jehoram, Jehu, Jehoahaz, Jehoash, Jeroboam Il, Zechariah, Shallum, Menahem, Pekahiah, Pekah, and Hoshea.  (This does not include the kings who only ruled Judah.)  The S&P Global Indices currently value all the stocks on the Israeli stock market at a total of $96.9 billion.  Giving each of these 24 kings the full value of the Israeli stock market would cost $2.33 trillion, $670 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.  

Image used under a Creative Commons license from wallyg.  

Give everyone in Georgia and the Carolinas an annual vacation in Hawaii

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've given every resident of the Carolinas and Georgia a vacation in Hawaii each year of their lives.

The state of Georgia has a population of 9.54 million, while North Carolina has 9.06 million and South Carolina has 4.41 million.  Assuming a life expectancy of 75 years, giving them a vacation each year would involve 1.73 billion vacations.  A trip from Los Angeles to Kauai with five nights' stay at the four-star Hyatt Regency Waikiki Beach costs $923 per person, and the addition of airfare from Atlanta to LA costs $345.  Giving each of these people an annual five-night vacation in Hawaii would cost $2.19 trillion, $810 billion less than less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Pay both World Series teams for the next 20,000 years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could pay both World Series baseball teams for the next 20,000 years.  

The two teams in the World Series this year are the Tampa Bay Rays and the Philadelphia Phillies.  Philadelphia has a payroll of $95.5 million, while Tampa Bay has one of the lowest payrolls in the Major Leagues at $43.4 million.  Paying both teams for the next 20,000 years would cost $2.78 trillion, or $220 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Thanks to reader Johanna Franklin for sending in this suggestion with calculations.   

Buy humans a fireworks display every night since they learned to make fire

For the price of the Iraq War, we could buy humans a fireworks show fit for the 4th of July every night since they learned how to make fire.  

According to new research from Hebrew University published in Quaternary Science Reviews, humans learned how to make fire 790,000 years ago, or 288 million days ago.  According to Premier Pyrotechnics, the cost of a large 4th of July fireworks show is between $7,000 and $20,000, or $500 to $1000 per minute.  Buying a $10,000 fireworks show every night since humans learned to make fire would cost $2.88 trillion, or $120 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Image used under a Creative Commons License from Stuck in Customs.

Buy each California hen a quarter-acre lot

For the price of the Iraq War, we could buy every laying hen in California her own quarter-acre lot in Fawnskin, CA.

California's 20 million laying hens produce about five billion eggs per year.  If Proposition 2 on the California ballot passes, it will become illegal in 2015 to keep these hens in cages so small that they cannot turn around or spread their wings.  While Proposition 2 would not mandate such a large amount of space, a quarter-acre lot close to the shore of Big Bear Lake is currently available in Fawnskin, CA for $140,000.  Buying a lot like this for each California laying hen would cost $2.8 trillion, $200 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Buy enough communion wafers that Christ's body could reach Neptune from Earth

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought enough communion wafers to connect Earth to Neptune with the Body of Christ.

According to various Christian denominations including Roman Catholicism and Lutheranism, communion wafers transform into the Body of Christ when blessed in the sacrament of the Eucharist.  1000 communion wafers, each 1.125 inches long, can be purchased for $12.29.  Neptune, the furthest planet in the solar system after the ruling that Pluto is not a planet, is approximately 4.5 billion kilometers from Earth.  Covering this distance would require 157 trillion communion wafers.  Buying this many communion wafers would cost $1.93 trillion, $1.07 trillion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Video from 95thesesrap.com.