Buy every woman born since the Malleus Malleficarum a cauldron and a broom

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought a cauldron and a broom for every woman born since the writing of the Malleus Maleficarum, or "Hammer of the Witches", a 15th century witch-hunting guide.  

Written in 1486, the Malleus Maleficarum argued that witches existed, claimed that women were more likely to commit witchcraft, and advised authorities on how to detect and convict witches. It spread rapidly throughout Europe, leading to the deaths of tens of thousands of people through witch trials.  Even today, some right-wing activists like Catholic League president Bill Donahue profess a belief in witchcraft.  

Extrapolating from calculations by the Population Reference Bureau suggests that 12 billion women have been born since 1486. A 10 quart cast iron cauldron from a witchcraft supply store costs $150, while a broom costs $5.  Buying these items for every woman born since 1486 would cost $1.86 billion, or $1.14 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Give each King of Israel the total value of the Israeli stock market

For the price of the Iraq War, we could give each historical King of Israel the value of everything on the contemporary Israeli stock market.  

There are 24 historical kings of Israel: Saul, Ish-Bosheth, David, Solomon, Rehoboam, Jeroboam I, Nadab, Baasha, Elah, Zimri, Omri, Ahab, Ahaziah, Jehoram, Jehu, Jehoahaz, Jehoash, Jeroboam Il, Zechariah, Shallum, Menahem, Pekahiah, Pekah, and Hoshea.  (This does not include the kings who only ruled Judah.)  The S&P Global Indices currently value all the stocks on the Israeli stock market at a total of $96.9 billion.  Giving each of these 24 kings the full value of the Israeli stock market would cost $2.33 trillion, $670 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.  

Image used under a Creative Commons license from wallyg.  

Give everyone in Georgia and the Carolinas an annual vacation in Hawaii

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've given every resident of the Carolinas and Georgia a vacation in Hawaii each year of their lives.

The state of Georgia has a population of 9.54 million, while North Carolina has 9.06 million and South Carolina has 4.41 million.  Assuming a life expectancy of 75 years, giving them a vacation each year would involve 1.73 billion vacations.  A trip from Los Angeles to Kauai with five nights' stay at the four-star Hyatt Regency Waikiki Beach costs $923 per person, and the addition of airfare from Atlanta to LA costs $345.  Giving each of these people an annual five-night vacation in Hawaii would cost $2.19 trillion, $810 billion less than less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Pay both World Series teams for the next 20,000 years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could pay both World Series baseball teams for the next 20,000 years.  

The two teams in the World Series this year are the Tampa Bay Rays and the Philadelphia Phillies.  Philadelphia has a payroll of $95.5 million, while Tampa Bay has one of the lowest payrolls in the Major Leagues at $43.4 million.  Paying both teams for the next 20,000 years would cost $2.78 trillion, or $220 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Thanks to reader Johanna Franklin for sending in this suggestion with calculations.   

Buy humans a fireworks display every night since they learned to make fire

For the price of the Iraq War, we could buy humans a fireworks show fit for the 4th of July every night since they learned how to make fire.  

According to new research from Hebrew University published in Quaternary Science Reviews, humans learned how to make fire 790,000 years ago, or 288 million days ago.  According to Premier Pyrotechnics, the cost of a large 4th of July fireworks show is between $7,000 and $20,000, or $500 to $1000 per minute.  Buying a $10,000 fireworks show every night since humans learned to make fire would cost $2.88 trillion, or $120 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Image used under a Creative Commons License from Stuck in Customs.

Buy each California hen a quarter-acre lot

For the price of the Iraq War, we could buy every laying hen in California her own quarter-acre lot in Fawnskin, CA.

California's 20 million laying hens produce about five billion eggs per year.  If Proposition 2 on the California ballot passes, it will become illegal in 2015 to keep these hens in cages so small that they cannot turn around or spread their wings.  While Proposition 2 would not mandate such a large amount of space, a quarter-acre lot close to the shore of Big Bear Lake is currently available in Fawnskin, CA for $140,000.  Buying a lot like this for each California laying hen would cost $2.8 trillion, $200 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Buy enough communion wafers that Christ's body could reach Neptune from Earth

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought enough communion wafers to connect Earth to Neptune with the Body of Christ.

According to various Christian denominations including Roman Catholicism and Lutheranism, communion wafers transform into the Body of Christ when blessed in the sacrament of the Eucharist.  1000 communion wafers, each 1.125 inches long, can be purchased for $12.29.  Neptune, the furthest planet in the solar system after the ruling that Pluto is not a planet, is approximately 4.5 billion kilometers from Earth.  Covering this distance would require 157 trillion communion wafers.  Buying this many communion wafers would cost $1.93 trillion, $1.07 trillion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Video from 95thesesrap.com.

Electrify America with wind for ten years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've satisfied American electricity demand with wind power for ten years.  

In 2005, America used 3.82 trillion kilowatt-hours of electricity.  In their 1996 paper "Alternative Windpower Ownership Structures: Financing Terms and Project Costs," Ryan Wiser and Edward Kahn of Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory's Energy and Environment Division calculated that a properly financed wind farm at a good site could produce electricity at 3.69 cents/kwH, or 5.15 cents/KwH adjusting for inflation.  Supplying America with wind power for a decade at these prices would cost $1.97 trillion, or $1030 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Image used under a Creative Commons License from Flidais.

Buy every Iraqi woman the clothes that the Republicans bought Sarah Palin

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought each Iraqi woman the clothes and accessories that the Republican Party has bought Sarah Palin during her Vice Presidential run.  

According to 2005 estimates, there are 13.3 million women in Iraq.  The Republican Party recently made headlines by buying Sarah Palin over $150,000 of clothes and accessories during her run.  Providing every Iraqi woman with the clothes and accessories that Sarah Palin purchased would cost $2.0 trillion, $1 trillion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Buy a Tesla Roadster for everyone who graduates high school for the next five years

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought a Tesla Roadster for everyone who graduates high school for the next five years.  

The Tesla Roadster is an electric car capable of going from 0 to 60 mph in under 4 seconds and traveling 220 miles without a recharge.  Its base price is $109,000.  In 2008, 3.3 million high school diplomas were awarded.  At this rate, 16.5 high school students will graduate over the next five years.  Buying each of them a Tesla Roadster would cost $1.80 trillion, which is $1.2 trillion less than  Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.

Cure five trillion cases of childhood pneumonia

For the price of the Iraq War, we could have saved five trillion children from dying of pneumonia. 

Pneumonia, a lung infection that can be caused by a variety of microorganisms,  is responsible for 19 percent of the deaths of children worldwide.  It can be treated with a dose of antibiotic syrup costing 58 cents.  Treating 5 trillion children for pneumonia would cost $2.9 trillion, which is $100 billion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.  

Help everyone on earth quit smoking five times over

For the price of the Iraq War, we could've bought enough Chantix® to help everybody on Earth quit smoking five times over. 

According to the World Bank, 1.142 billion people in the world smoke.  Antismoking therapy with Chantix® costs $112 per month and lasts three months.  Treating everyone on earth with this therapy five times over would cost $1.92 trillion, which is $1.08 trillion less than Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes' estimate of $3 trillion for the total cost of the Iraq War.